ok so i know i haven't been on here for soooooo long but im back. i just came back from rehab and it worked for a little while but not anymore. my nurse said that i was anorexic but i still think that i am ednos because i go through phases of bulemia every now and then. ugh i don't know what i am but all i know is i am back.

so today was kinda gross because i definatly binged again. i had a bagel w/ butter...two cookies...two chocolate milks...and a mall sized pretzel. ugh gross i know. i need to stop this insanity. blah!

so i think i have a new idea and i hope it will work...i am going to wear a rubber band on my wrist and every time i feel like eating i will snap the rubber band really hard! i don't know if this will work but i hope it does!

109 today...it is alright i suppose but still not at my goal weight. my goal for the end of june is 100 and than my goal for the end of july is 90. i hope i can do it! i just have to keep hanging on :D

man i feel like i haven't updated in a while. well i am going good. i am on another unexpected fast because now my family is even making comments about my weight and i just can't take it anymore. i amgoing to fst until someone makes me eat. i hope i can do this.

Boo, today is going horrible. I feel so gross and disgusting and fat right now. i don't even want to talk about it...

well i have to say that today is going fan fucking tastic! i haven't eaten all day, and i was scared that my mom was going to make me eat dinner but tonight i told her that i had a lot of studying to do so i could eat in my room. so once i got in my room i just gave my dinner to my dog. i feel so good right now! this has just guaranteed me that i don't have to eat until tommorrow night at dinner. (But who knows, maybe i can eat in my room again!) well i hope everyone else is doing good too. think thin ladies xoxo

yay!!!!!! this is getting to be such a good day. so far  i have only been fasting for about 19 hours but i just weighed myself and i am down 6 pounds! i am currently 104!!!! i am so happy right now and i am determined to keep this up. i just keep looking at thinspo videos and listening to thinspo songs. by the way...do any of you know some good thinspo songs because i only know like 2. well i hope everyone's day is going good and think thin ladies <33

haha ok so i guess that kinda was a dumb question. i wish it wasn't considered cheating though but oh well. maybe i can get away with not eating dinner but i doubt my mom will let me. if i do eat dinner though then i will just perge after. i have a feeling that today is going to go well.

hey ladies, i have a question. i am currently fasting but sometime my mom makes me eat dinner. do i have to start my fast over if i eat dinner but then purge? or is that cheating?

Hey everyone, well today is going good for me. so far i havn't eaten the whole day and i am quite proud of myself. i have come up with a plan and i think that i will only eat every other day. because when i don't eat for a few days, my mom and friends start to catch on and they always lecture me. so today is my day not to eat and i am doing good so far! hopefully i can continue to be good as the day goes on :D

Hey everyone well right now i am kinda in a puzzle but don't worry, i will get out of it. i have to stop eating but i can't let my friends or family find out...has anyone ever had this problem before? hmmm idk what to do.

Hey everyone...well right now i am 110. so accroding to the promise i made myself, if i gain one more pound then i am fasting again. i don't care what anybody says but i would rather fast and have me friends always lecture me then be fucking huge. w/e i don't care what anybody says cuz it is my body not theirs! well i think i am going to go weigh myself now

ugh idk what i am going to do....i feel so fat but my stupid mom always notices when i don't eat and she gets all worried. ugh but i seriously need to stop eating agian. wtf do it do??? argh this sucks. i wish i lived by myself that way there would be nobody to tell me to eat. idk what to do but i am tired so i am going to sleep now. ugh good nite.

omg i can't take this anymore...i was fasting and doing so well like a week ago but then my friends caught on and are lecturing me every time i don't eat. so then i ate only in front of them and i would just perge it after. and then one of my fucking friends caught on to that tooo. so now i am eating and i am gaining so much weight and i can't take it anymore. i don't care what my friends say but i have to stop eating! i am at 109...that is up 4 fucking pounds! i can't do this anymore, fuck!

Yea so remember when i told you that once i was over 110 i am fasting again? yea well i have been taking advantage of me eating again and i have been having such junk food. i know, its bad but it was so good. well now i really think i am over 110 and i need to go weigh myself but the scale is in my moms bedroom and if she sees me weighing myself then i think she will get a little suspicious. so i just have to weight for her ot leave her room and then i will weigh myself. agh this is killing me. i need to know how much i weigh...NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey everyone, how is everyone's day going? mine is good. oh my god but i need some help...there is this really cute guy and i want to go out with him but i don't know what to do. like i talk to him and hug him every day but he is the kind of guy who talk/hugs all the girls at school. he is like a ladies man, lol. i don't know what to do though, iam trying to give him all these hints that i like him but they are not working. argh someone help me!

Well since my day was kinda bad i won't inform you about it. But i am so happy that i am back on live journal and i missed you guys so much! Good night <33

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't been on in like a million years! i am so sorry for just leaving you all though...but my mom wouldn't let me on the computer for a while. but i am back now. well not much has really changed i guess...accept for the fact that i have been eating more and more each day. its because so many people are getting suspicious but it is pissing me off. i was 105 when i was fasting. now that i am eating again i am at 107. w/e i have made a decision though...as soon as i am over 110 i am fasting again. i don't give a fuck what my friends say! they can say all they want but i will not let myself get over 110 and that is a promise!

today was just a blah day i guess. i ran a mile this morning which was good. but then all of that food that i ate was horrible! i am going on a liquid fast tommorrow so hopefully that goes good. i am really tired so i am going to go to my bed now. wish me luck on my liquid fast and i will be on tommorrow to tell you how it went.